The little things in life...

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Well holy shit y’all, I finished my first book in probably a year.  Per the usual, I feel all good and accomplished and am now on a book high.  So tell me what to read next before this wears off.

Well holy shit y’all, I finished my first book in probably a year. Per the usual, I feel all good and accomplished and am now on a book high. So tell me what to read next before this wears off.

We just had a meeting with a realtor about selling our house

And let me tell you, I am very fucking overwhelmed. And also completely underwhelmed with what we can sell this house for.

Working out in the AM

How do you people do it?  This morning I did my first early morning (6am) workout and thought I was going to throw up.  Mind you I did not eat anything at first, which I quickly changed 5 minutes into it, but still, but I felt like crap.  

Please tell me, what can I eat really quick when I get up and not want to throw up when rigorously working out 5 minutes later?   

totaldrivel:

esofine:

The trailer for the second season of ‘Orange is the New Black’ is here and I can’t stop watching it.

Yesssssssssss

Mom who drove van full of children into river charged with attempted murder

I think this might be my new daily thing.  The “What the fuck is wrong with these people” edition.  

andthankyoulambies:

allrecipes:


How many cupcakes will your favorite cake recipe yield? Does it make enough batter for a bundt pan? Now, you’ll know! Pin it: http://bit.ly/1hH1b1p

Amazing

andthankyoulambies:

allrecipes:

How many cupcakes will your favorite cake recipe yield? Does it make enough batter for a bundt pan? Now, you’ll know!

Pin it:
http://bit.ly/1hH1b1p

Amazing

parenthacks:

(via Paint Easter Eggs in A Bag! {Color Mixing Too!} - No Time For Flash Cards)

Fun. Simple. Colorful.

parenthacks:

(via Paint Easter Eggs in A Bag! {Color Mixing Too!} - No Time For Flash Cards)

Fun. Simple. Colorful.

eschaton-disaster:

nerdad and well-behavedwoman

eschaton-disaster:

nerdad and well-behavedwoman

Best Part of my Day Today…

is that our nanny mopped my kitchen and bathroom floors.  This has probably not been done in weeks months.  Every time I do it, it just gets dirty again in like 5 minutes, so really why waste the time.

Now I just need to find a cheap cleaning lady to do this shit for me on the regular, because really, there is no time.

Life

I have a million things that I want to say under this title, but I am having a hard time putting it all into words.  

Like most women I’m going through the balance struggle of being a working mom.  I feel like I’m half assing both jobs.  I go through days that are good and I feel confident in what I do, but there are so many more where I’m making mistake after mistake and forgetting lots of things.  At this particular time I’m very down about work.  I’m expected to handle and be in control of a large variety of things that I just can’t keep all together.  I like 50% of what I do and if I could just focus on that 50% then my days would be so much better. This makes me feel like it may be time to move on.  I’ve been here almost 8 years, which is way longer than I thought I would be.  Things have changed a lot through out those 8 years and my boss has been pretty good to me, but I honestly really don’t like the situation we have right now.  It’s just me and him and everything falls on my shoulders.  

I’m not going to lie, the thought of finding another job is so scary.  I have a very good flexible schedule and pretty much do what I want.  But when does that get trumped by not liking what you are doing?  My boss is working on some things for the future that could change both of our situations, but how long do I sit around and wait for that to happen?

Then there is the want to just be at home with my babies.  I’ve tried to do the math a million times and I still can’t figure out a way to make it work. How do you SAHMs do it?  J makes pretty good money, the amount a lot of families live off of all the time, but I just  can’t make it work for us.  I would also be willing to do things to earn money, work part time at night or weekends some, keep other kids, but it still doesn’t make it work.  Maybe I just need to really start cutting back and see what we can live off of.  I’m not sure I really could handle being at home all the time with the kids, but right now it just seems so much better than being at work. 

Then there is home life.  We are so lucky to have some really great kids.  D is a typical 2 year old and all that comes with that.  The times I feel the most inadequate as a parent is when it comes to discipline.  I get way more mad about him not listening than I should and I feel awful every time.  This article I reblogged on Positive Discipline makes a lot of sense and I agree with the philosophy that hitting to discipline hitting is counter productive, but when he just won’t listen I don’t know what else will get his attention besides a stern spanking.  But really, I’m not even sure that really phases him that much.  I want to turn to positive reinforcement and positive discipline, but it all just seems so out of my comfort zone.  I have such limited time to devote to being a mother so things like making sure every meal is healthy and researching all the correct ways to not fuck up your child just seem so out of my reach.  There just isn’t enough time in the day.  I like to think that if I was home all day I would be able to devote 100% to making everything in their lives the way it should be, but I can’t guarantee that.  Because there is also more in life, a house, chores, a husband, pets, bills.  

There really is no win win situation unless you won the lottery and had loads of help.  But really we all know money doesn’t buy happiness so that is also not a guarantee either.  

I really do want to COMMIT (because I’m very horrible about that) to a number of things going forward.  I want to better myself and family by being more focused.  I’m not going to write down my goals here because that really does nothing for me.  I’m going to write them down where I will see them everyday in my face.

I know I’m not the first or last person to write about the inadequacies of being a woman, but if you are going through the same daily struggles, just know you aren’t alone.